The stumping for World Leader campaign tour made its first stop in Clinton Oklahoma where our candidate stopped in at the most iconic American restaurant in town, so he could spend time with real conservatives and hear the real issues.
Campbell says "Put it back! We're not paying for all that crap" isn't just a slogan. It's a lifestyle choice of a true fiscal conservative.
I have been told there may be a photo circulating that shows a young lady in my lap while we were on the campaign trail. I want to be clear: while a young woman did end up in my lap, the situation was entirely innocent.
We were scarcely out of town when our giant campaign bus lurched forward with such force that it sent this poor girl flying. She is the niece of one of my speechwriters, serving as a dedicated assistant on the trail. The jolt was so violent it actually damaged her clothing!
In an attempt to steady herself, she grabbed the large brass support pole, spun around it, and was flung directly toward me. Without a thought for my own safety—as any hero would—I was able to catcht her and we fell back into a bus seat with her safely in my lap.
She was so grateful to be saved from certain injury that she thanked me repeatedly until her uncle, my itinerary scheduler, took her to see a medic.
While those photos might look questionable to someone who doesn't know the truth, they are nothing more than political hacks trying to manufacture a scandal.
Your candidate is battered but not broken, and I remain committed to telling our government: Put It Back!
Dear valued friends and supporters, it is with great purpose that I embark on this solo journey, leaving behind my loving wife, to traverse the campaign trail as the candidate of choice. Alongside a dedicated team, I will travel from town to town, listening to your concerns, so that I, your chosen representative, can effectively advocate for your needs in Washington DC. Fear not, for I am committed to my mission and guided by integrity. Remember, a vote for Cris is a wise investment in our collective future. And I urge you all to voice your message loud and clear: "Put it back! Put it back! Put it back!"
I'm happy to announce that my run for global domination is off to an excellent start! With only small campaign donations, from you, the little guys, I am able to compete with the dirty politicians that sell out constituents for corporate support. But not me! I stand with you, the average American, as we spread our message to reclaim this great nation using common sense parental rules like "No! Put it back!" Working together, we can balance this budget and stop living in the shadow of all consuming national debt.
I’m Back. Apparently.
About 15 years later… here I am again.
In the meantime, I moved away, got my Broker’s License, opened an insurance office, and did the responsible adult thing. Then a couple of years ago we ran into some health issues. I was turning 62, had hit my retirement goals, and decided that was enough excitement for one lifetime.
So I pulled the plug.
Closed the office.
Turned in the keys.
Parked my ever-expanding butt in front of the television.
And… got bored.
Seriously. What in the world happened to TV?
At some point I realized I was spending large portions of my day watching guys on YouTube mow other people’s lawns for free.
That’s how bad television has gotten.
So I started tinkering with AI programs. One experiment led to another, and before long I was running an ongoing satire about a fictional political campaign for the prestigious office of World Leader.
Yes. World Leader.
I’ve been posting it on Facebook, but I’m starting to think a blog might be the better medium. Who knows? Maybe it turns into a book project someday. Although by the time I finish, all the pop culture references will probably be so outdated that historians will need footnotes.
Truthfully, it’s mostly to satisfy my need for goofiness.
If you happen to find this little corner of the internet, I hope you enjoy the ride.
I’ll be using AI for cartoon illustrations. ChatGPT has been the most consistent for me, though Gemini has its moments. ChatGPT once did such an alarmingly accurate cartoon of me tweeting from the toilet that I was too embarrassed to post it. It was hilarious. Also… disturbingly realistic.
I’ll also use AI to clean up the writing. The ideas, stories, and questionable judgment are mine. The structure just benefits from a little robotic supervision.
Anyway — welcome back. Or welcome for the first time.
Let’s see where this goes.
It was the end of March 1995. I had graduated from college and passed my state certification for education, qualified to teach pre K through 8th grade. We lived in a small two bedroom house in Alva, Oklahoma. We loved that town, but the town did not reciprocate with paying jobs. My two year old daughter was talking up a storm and we had just had our baby boy. Both kids had been by C-section, so honestly, we were waiting on the magic 2 week healing period where Lydia was cleared to travel so we could move.
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