An Opprobrious Halloween

OK so I was trying to show my little girl how I can make a stupid toon faster than I can write an actual post. I got a little too ambitious for my personal limitations (no talent) and I screwed up.

See when I make one of these silly toons I blow the image up so I have greater pencil control on MS Paint. Only, I didn't realize I blew it up one size greater than usual and the result is what you see. I know! I know! You are very dissapointed and you wish it was a lot bigger.

Trust me, I have heard it all before.

Little Boys Never Grow Up

So Friday night is my Uncle's 10th wedding anniversary / Halloween costume party. Me thinks I might go as a pirate. I haven't worn a costume on Halloween since I was a kid... maybe 8 or 9 years old. I mean, I have worn costumes for plays and working local spook house fund raisers, but to go to a party in a costume... I never considered it until tonight.

Tonight I was at the local grocery store and they had a dollar store section. Real cheap crap for a buck. And on the top of pile of little kid plastic Halloween crap was a cheap plastic Pirate kit, with a plastic hook, a plastic eye patch and two tiny plastic swords. It was perfect!! Last Christmas my uncle gave me a Jack Sparrow hat and tattoo sleeves because of my interest in sailing... and the fact I now own two sail boats. (It's not a big deal.. he owns a sail boat too!) So in an instant I decided to combine his gift with that wonderful cheap and cheesy dollar store crap to make a single costume.

But oh how I wish I could be as dashing as the toon above.

6 Days Til Halloween

Did you know we are going to a party this Halloween? Many many years ago Mrs. Cris and I decided to get married. I wanted to get married on Halloween. I thought it would be funny. You know.. what's the spookiest day of the year? The day I got married! Hahaha.

Yeah Mrs. Cris didn't think it any funnier than you just did. So, in spite of my brilliant idea we did not get married on All Hallows Eve, but on Valentine's Day instead. Years later I was told by some really cool neighbors that Halloween was the WORST day ever to get married. They never got to celebrate an anniversary because they were always catering to their children or grandchildren and nobody care about a celebrating a wedding on the day everybody gets free candy!! So I chalked it up to a bad idea I had and forgot about it. The last chance we had to really celebrate the night that makes you fear what goes bump in the night.

So this Halloween my Uncle will celebrate his 10th wedding anniversary. He will rent out a community building, hire a DJ, gather all his friends and family and take the kids to the haunted house across the street. I think it's kind of cool we both saw the humor in that idea for a wedding night.

Werewolf?

Just Thinking

Yep there have been a few changes made since you were here last time. I ditched the Pink for the remainder of the month. It's not that I don't care about hooters, but come on, we were talking about sick hooters and frankly, I like Halloween more than sick boobs. Maybe that's just me.

So, I still have the Save the Hooters T-shirt available for sale on the side bar, and all proceeds will be carefully spent supporting those bouncy perky wonders at the nearest titty bar. Trust me! Oh yeah, and those T-shirts make a wonderful Halloween costume as it makes it look like you have a pair! Don't be cheap, I am sure the best thing to do in a floundering economy is to spend spend spend.

I love Fall and Halloween and October. The bad thing is this is ALWAYS my busiest month of the year. Things start coming at me so fast that by the time I look up the month is over. I need to get outside and enjoy the cool weather. I need to feel the sun on my face as it zooms away for the winter. Then again, football is on TV.. so we all have our priorities.

OH yeah, Jr. is in AG class and his school already sent him out to strong arm family and neighbors into buying Blue Gold meat products. If you don't know what Blue Gold Meat products are, you need to start hanging out around your rural high schools and try to make friends with the little boys in the blue jackets. Maybe you can score you some sausage or bacon. Tonight, I cooked up some of the 20 or so pounds of Bacon we were forced to buy so my son MIGHT win a $75 blue jacket. (He didn't.. now I have a freezer full of bacon and still have to buy a jacket) And let me tell you something. Love was in the air as I made that bacon. I mean my daughter came out of her room and told me she LOVED me as she ate the first pan full. My wife came out of her weekend nap and told me she LOVED me as she ate my second pan full. Jr came out of the video game room and I swatted his damn hand with a hot greasy spatula so I could make me a bacon and cheese sandwich.

mmmmmmmm all is good with the world. Wish they sold Blue Gold Bacon when Tomatoes are ripe.

Horrible Impact of Economic DIsaster