After last night's highly successful fundraiser gala, several of my most passionate supporters have strongly suggested I consider traveling somewhere far away. Immediately.
So I am launching an official PIB Fact-Finding Mission to Hawaii.
I understand it is a beautiful island. Warm. Welcoming. Girls in coconut bras and grass skirts. Essentially zero extradition complications. As World Leader (Pending) I feel it is my DUTY to assess Hawaii's true market value — because frankly, Denmark is sitting on Greenland like it's a prize, and I want to know what we're trading FOR.
Polynesian beauties vs. blubber-chewing Eskimos?
Denmark may have overplayed their hand.
More updates to follow. Do NOT tell anyone where I'm going.
PUT IT BACK
— Mr. PIB Campbell, World Leader (Pending), currently booking a one-way
flight
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