So here I am up and ready for the two hour commute to the State Capitol for a day of meetings. I get up a bit early to stretch out a nagging back problem that I am just positive will go away any day now, even though it has been nagging me for about a full year. I shuffle from room to room, giant coffee cup in hand and look for something of interest while I stretch. Stretching consists of sitting on the edge of an office chair and leaning forward, which lends itself to activities like reading or getting on the computer.
This morning I saw the newspaper. More importantly I saw the Farm and Ranch circular and the Sears tool book! OK, in case you were not aware I am a MAN! Grunt-Grunt! I have tools and I use them. I have responsibilities of caring for a household of helpless, defenseless people that need MAN skills to keep them from reverting back to the caveman times of living in holes in the ground and eating bugs for nourishment. I know, I know, it is an awesome responsibility for one as young as myself and I am sure it might even make me look WAYYYYY older than I should. It is a burden I gladly bear for my family because I love them.
ANYhow, I start thumbing through the SEARS Tool Book and I see a push lawnmower that costs about $100 more than one at Wal Mart. I see yard tools "On Sale" that still cost twice the price as everyday low prices at Wal Mart. And because I am a child of my time and state, I heard all the old wisdoms that were handed to me by MEN as I grew up. "Sure they cost more, (talking about John Deere Mowers) but that green paint is worth it!" or "Yeah a Craftsman tool cost about twice what others cost, but that red paint or name stamp makes it worth every cent."
So here I am looking at the paper while my stiffened muscles stretch out enough I can drive to Oklahoma City for a long day of meetings, and I am listening to the misty water colored memories of MAN talk. But then my current culture intercedes. I work with a bunch of women. Girly-Girl foo-foo gabbing chicks that don't understand or respect MAN world. When we end up near Tulsa they always have to stop at BRA WORLD or SOAP, OIL AND CANDLE FACTORY. But when I suggest we stop by Home Depot or just hang out at the flat tire changing garage, you would think I had just crashed landed from Mars and asked spoken in some cool alien language. Maybe with a ray gun in my hand and a light saber attached to my cool Martian utility belt... yeah SpaceMAN tools! Cool!!
...uh... I mean... NO WAY! They wont even consider MAN feelings! So my wife walks by me and I point out the price difference and say, "You know that painted-on Craftsman name is worth more," because I have been conditioned by birth to say such things. Then lacking the years of Operational Conditioning from MEN who looked down upon you and called you a pussy throughout your developmental years, my wife sniffed and asked, "Aren't they all made in China or Mexico nowadays anyway?"
She walked away, not really caring if I answered. To her it was a rhetorical question tossed out to feign interest in the hopes of not having another real discussion on tools and MAN responsibility. She did not have to concern herself with the awesome burden of mowing every week or two for nearly half a year, or replacing the roof every 25 years. Nope, she flittered around without a thought in her head doing her girly things like getting the kids up and fed and ready for school, checking homework and paying bills. Chick things that have no place or value in the real world. But I love her and will try to continue to provide the easy life she has, but never fully understands.
3 weeks ago