PIB NETWORK — OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
From an Undisclosed Location
Fellow Americans,
As many of you know I have been conducting important diplomatic business from a secure undisclosed location while certain misunderstandings with certain parties get sorted out. I am not hiding. World Leaders do not hide. I am strategically repositioning.
During this period I took time to visit our beloved Director of Public Health, Blackout Bob, currently recovering at an undisclosed medical facility. Bob looked good. Relatively.
During our visit Bob outlined what he believes is the final missing plank in the PIB platform. He made a compelling case.
We have Medical Marijuana. We have Medical Mushrooms for mental health. Science tells us regular sexual activity is essential to wellness. Big Pharma has solved the mechanical side of the equation. However — and Bob was very clear on this — it takes two to Tango.
Effective immediately the PIB Platform endorses Medical Prostitution.
Rollout would mirror the marijuana model. Two year patient license. State licensed dispensaries. Regulated. Taxed. PUT THE REVENUE BACK.
This is not a moral position. This is a healthcare position.
I am currently reviewing the proposal in detail here in Hawaii.
If we can't afford it — PUT IT BACK.
— Mr. PIB Campbell
World Leader (Pending)
Aloha Division
Stumble It!
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