The World Leader Endorsement
In a surprise move, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney publicly endorsed dark-horse candidate Nostradamus for the as-yet-unfilled office of World Leader.
Carney made his press announcement from the country’s largest maple refinery while wearing a tinfoil beret in honor of the mystic. During the conference, he leaned into the microphone to declare:
"But of cour-se, I vould ne-vair vant a lead-air ozzer zan my-self—a Tr-rue Fr-rench-man—to lead our beau-tee-ful coun-tr-rees! But gee-ven ze choice be-tveen Cam-bell and a dr-run-ken 'o-bo... I vill take ze dr-run-ken 'o-bo ev-air-ee-time! Hon hon hon!"
To date, Carney is the only world leader to endorse a candidate for an elected office that does not exist. However, following Campbell's failed trade talks, it appears he has the Canadian nation’s support in this bizarre decision.
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