D DAY

So I never meant for it to work out like this. I mean it, I thought all I had to do was pop into the store, buy a TV and go home and hook it up. Seemed pretty simple in my mind. But you know the saying, those who fail to plan, plan to fail. I should have made a game plan.

As you know, Thursday I was half way across the state at a meeting in Stillwater, home of the Holiday Bowl bound Oklahoma State Cowboys (YEAH!!). So I go in my favorite Pistol Pete Wal Mart and decide since Mrs. Cris is with me, NOW would be a good time to get that TV we talked about for the Holidays. BONUS: It would be hooked up in time for the Big 12 Championship game between Mizzou and Oklahoma University!!

So Saturday we get up and encourage Ms. Cris to leave the house. Then Crissy and I begin to clean out her corner of collected crap. We have to wait until she is gone or she will make us stop and nothing will get done. It took all day! Finally we clean out her corner, and we move the old entertainment center into my bedroom. We hook up speakers and DVD and VCR. We have everything working and Satellite Christmas music fills my bedroom while I secretly imagine 32 inch porno. Hey we all have dreams! Don't you judge me!

Then we move all the furniture in the Den and scoot the old antique dresser over by the fireplace and finally we are able to take the monster out of the box. We hoist up the giant 42 inch plasma screen TV and plug it directly into the satellite feed. Time is running out, the Big 12 starts at 7:00 pm but we have to go hand out candy for our church at a local parade... so we really have to hurry. We set it up, make sure it gets a signal and rush out to do the parade thing.

When we get back, the game has already started, we missed part of the first quarter but all is good. The TV shines bright and all is good with the world... until we notice that the store display TV had some image burned into the screen. As Sam Bradford was leading the Sooners to the Big 12 Championship and the the chance to play for the National Championship we can clearly see menu settings like: START SET UP PLAY across the bottom of the screen and a huge line at the top. The TV was ruined!!

So I never intended to spend all day Sunday, while the Cowboys played the Steelers, at the store trying to exchanged my ruined 42 inch plasma screen TV for one that was not ruined. But I did. I spent my entire weekend trying to hook up a new TV. It was nothing like the little plan I had in my little head.

You know the worst thing? As we waited in line at the service desk, for the third time, I kept telling Jr, "The Cowboys and Steelers should be about through the first quarter by now."

"It's just killing you to have to wait, isn't it? he asked with a smirk.

It was!! It was killing me!! Only a few more weeks of football left then the long dry season! Now is when it is real interesting and I was missing it to wait in line time after time at a service counter for a TV I already paid $700 for, but have yet to enjoy. So we get home, hook up the TV, turn on the last half of the game 3-0 Cowboys... and I kind of fell asleep and missed it.

Defiant of Consumerism

I don't know if it is age or a natural inclination towards frugality (cheap ass bastard) but I seem to be more and more defiant of consumerism. When cell phones came out, I was against owning one. It was near impossible for me to grasp how they would bill and I still wonder about the advantage of my current $120 a month plan compared to my $22 plan I had with the home line.

Oh even before that I couldn't grasp the advantage of a computer. A techno geek of the early 80s would rant on and on about how they saved time. They will balance your check book and pay bills. I told him I already balanced my checkbook and paid my bills and it looks like with a computer I would just be doing it several times over and over. It wasn't until I was told you can type a document and correct as you type it, or go back weeks later and change it without having to retype that I saw a practical use. And to be fair... that is still 99% of the function I use my computer.

I have been resistant to CDs, MP3, DVDs, and I don't even understand what a blue ray is... but I am pretty sure it's what killed Steve Irwin. My Grandparents bought an old console Television set and kept it until the day they died. Giant black and white monsters in beautiful cabinets. Sure the TVs stopped working back in the 1960s, but they made wonderful TV stands for the small color TV's they placed on top.

So while I seem to be embracing my grandfatherly demeanor, I can't say it is due to age, since I was that way about the ludicrous proposal that cassette tapes would one day replace 8 track. Preposterous! Any fool could see an 8 track tape was a continuous loop of music where as a Cassette had to be flipped like those old archaic LPs.

Well maybe I have a couple of giant cases of Cassette tapes stored by our boxes of old LPs out in the barn. Maybe I have a cell phone plan and every member of my house now has their own phone. OK so I caved about the computer and the DVD player. Maybe I have my own MP4 with all old fucker music. OK in the past I have caved! I folded like cheap hooker on the curb side. But here I draw the line. From this point on I am embracing my inner old fart and refusing to progress any further.

Just as soon as the boy and I set up our brand new 42 inch plasma screen so the DVR and satellite is working properly. And THIS time I mean it!!