Buy Erectilfluff

 “My friends… recently I learned a new term. Not necessarily a polite term. Not even a respectful term. But it’s a term women use when they see a strong, confident, distinguished older man and they feel… admiration.

The term is DILF.

Do you know DILF? Of course you do. Tremendous term. Very popular.”

“Unfortunately, many American men — good men, hardworking men, patriots — will never feel like a DILF because of a terrible condition known as… Erectile Dysfunction.

Sad. Very sad.

And I find that unacceptable for my American people. I love my American people. I love them so much that I created a company. A serious company. A very official company.

It’s called DOTUS.

And yes… the D stands for DILF.”

DILFs Of The United States

“I assembled a crack team of Scientists — top people — and we developed a formula using mostly organic herbal ingredients:

Cayenne pepper — for firey circulation.

Raw oysters — Neptune’s blessing.

Minoxidil — if it grows hair, imagine what else it grows.

And just a touch — a small, patriotic touch — of nitroglycerin.”

“And we created what the world has been waiting for.

A life-changing topical spray for those who have trouble rising to the occasion.

Not me, of course.

I am as solid as the rock at Mount Rushmore. In fact, I’ve heard — I didn’t ask — they’re considering carving my likeness. Very humbling. Not sure if they’ll add a new face or simply upgrade one of the lame ones.”

“Our new product is called Erectilfluff™.

And I am confident — very confident — you will love it as much as I do.

For just $39.99 on Amazon, you too can stand tall and fly the flag of a proud American.”

“Stand tall for freedom.”