SHOCKING ACCUSATION!!

My friends, I have recently received evidence of campaign fund raising efforts by one of my opponents that is so heinous, so deplorable, it defies all that is good and wholesome about these great Okie Blogger Awards.

Now I am not one to point fingers or name names in a political contest but REDNECK DIVA seems to have no such scruples in her quest for statewide domination of the Most Humorous Okie Blog title. Just this morning, I found a grease stained gunny sack on the front porch of my trailer house, next to the dog food bowl and between the old refrigerator and old furniture I still might decide to use someday. Inside that grease stained gunny sack I found this:

I think the evidence speaks for its self. There can be no doubt that Redneck Diva is taking advantage of the weakness of the fragile male ego (male bashing if you think about it) and using this weakness to coerce a highly influential population into buying a product based on pure vanity.

Whats worse, I know for a fact the product does not work! I tried this so called, "Male Enhancement" cereal and could not distinguish any difference in grip or heft. I call upon the Redneck Party to get control of your candidate and stop preying upon the weakness of men with inferiority complexes, like myself.

This is yet again, a prime example why Okie Bloggers should vote for Opprobrious for the 2008 Okie Blogger Awards!

Opprobrious Victimized

MY opponents in the upcoming vote, claim I have sold-out to big pharmaceutical corporations. Redneck Diva exclaimed when reached by our crack reporting staff, "...Huh? Opprobr..what? Look I don't accept solicitations over the telephone. Stop calling my house!" She refused to comment further, but a friend of a guy who said he knew her neighbor's mailman claims REDNECK DIVA is starting a horrible whisper campaign that Opprobrious is now in the pocket of big time pharmaceutical corporations.

Dear reader (hopefully there is more than one... but I am playing the odds based on my sitemeter) NOTHING could be further from the truth! Honest! The stance of the writing staff here at Opprobrious has never changed from day one. Health Care should be a right in this country just like education. And our little blog never accepted paid advertisement for over priced life saving medication. NO! We only accepted money for elective, personal enhancement products. It's like steriods but for bagging hot chicks, so really it is a non-essential product that enhances life. Plus, it is the hope of the entire Opprobrious staff, that with increased sales of this product, production prices will eventually fall to where we can all enjoy the benefits of this exciting new self enhancement product.

But then another form of competition rared it's ugly head when Monty over at The Daily Bitch, who is also an Okie Blogger and was the runner up for the Award I was denied last year. Our ace reporter went to investigate her reaction to the underhanded Redneck Diva attack strategy.

"Well, she never would accept my calls and the police say she is in the process of getting a restraining order against me ever contacting her again," said the unnamed Opprobrious reporter. "However, I still have a strong feeling we are meant to be together... eh... in an interview!! Hey do we happen to have any samples of Tagamilf in the studio?"

So there you have it. Proof positive that I, and the entire blogging staff at Opprobrious, has been the subject of viscous, slanderous attack strategies of fellow Okie Bloggers. I can only hope you Email Mike and demand he disqualify both participants and possibly any other blog in competition with us. Then, and probably ONLY THEN will we stand a chance of getting a real award as a quality blog.

The 2008 OKIES Are Here!!

So my old buddy Mike over at Okiedoke finally got around to making another post on his blog. I know, I know, that in itsself shouldn't be considered newsworthy, even if it is becoming a rarity, but the big deal is the nominations for the 2008 OKIES has been opened to the public!!

This is great news, because a year or so ago I was nominated for my Y2K Survivor blog that was hosted by the now defunct AOL Journals. Mike and Britt and Avitable and a few others (every-freakin-body) encouraged me to move to a new host (Called me a dumbass) but none of them, except Mike, is allowed to vote because somebody got all, "There has to be RULES!" on us:

Only Okie bloggers with active Okie blogs are eligible to nominate and vote. “Active” is defined as having at least one blog post during the last 60 days of 2008. An “Okie blog” is defined as having at least one blog author residing within the state of Oklahoma.

That means that the International appeal of Opprobrious means nothing in this competition. It is simply backwoods mano-a-mano. Several men enter the competition ring and only one man remains! Yes it is the Thunderdome of the blogosphere and Mike is Tina Turner... kind of loud, abrasive and dressed way inappropriate for his age. The last time I was in this death match I was pummeled and beaten without mercy by the ruffian known as Redneck Diva. But that was last year, this year I ain't no Okie Blogger Awards virgin! That's right, I am the survivor of hard fought, bloody battle of political TV ads during football season! I can now pave the way to my landslide victory with the skills I gained from long hard hours of taking naps between beer commercials. I can start whisper campaigns and offer accusations without merit or foundation!

Redneck Diva is soft on crime!! She just doesn't understand Oklahomans!

Better yet, I can say:

Did you know that in 2006 a Wal-Mart checker in Sands Springs said he/she thought denying gay marriage was the same as denying civil rights. AND Redneck Diva never confronted the manager of the store and had the clerk fired nor organized a protest to shut down that store's business. Redneck Diva just doesn't have Oklahoma values.

Oh yeah baby! The gloves are off! You are SO going down!!

Now if I could just lure people to this new blog so they could read my attack ads....