ONLY HOURS LEFT

Only a few hours remain for Okie bloggers to vote on the most humorous blog in Oklahoma for 2008. Sure, there are many other (better) choices you could select than Opprobrious. You might think the best blog should be well written, spelled correctly or even slightly funny. See, this is the narrow thinking that has held our great state back all these decades. We could be the leader among state blogging awards if a few thousand Okie bloggers would simply vote for change (and maybe read my blog). Any change has to be better than the redneck stigma that has been placed on humorous Okie blogging these many years.


Also keep in mind the lucrative prizes and benefits that go to the ultimate winner wont simply be squandered in meaningless purchases of state made items. No, all proceeds will go to finance the exciting excavation of my back yard where our dedicated team of armature palaeontologists try to find the final missing link in the fossil record: homo disgustingus or Ball-Licking Man.

I need you to know that your vote will be put to good use. And granted, I intend to spend my first six months of Oklahoma's Representative at the exclusive celebrity sex spa, Guantanamo Bay. Oh yeah baby! I plan to gitmo at Gitmo! See, those of us in the know, realize America could NEVER hold prisoners without habeaus corpus, a right to a speedy trial or even torture the inhabitants. Nooooo, poor "I believe everything I read on the internets" reader. Gitmo is a super secret resort off the exotic beaches of forbidden Cuba. There, noted celebrities can frolic naked and indulge in their most hedonistic fantasies while shielded from the prying eyes of American media and paparazzi. This is why all of the local politicians are enraged at the prospect of the closing of the treasured get away. And while Obama says he will close the prison camp... come on... think about it! He HAS to say that because his wife knows about Gitmo! They will simply either keep it open, yet under the radar, or move it to another exotic locale that is safe from the press... say...like Cheney's house.

So while the competition and "also rans" tend to claim I use prize winnings to force my kids to dig up a vegetable garden and indulge in demented sex acts that have been condemned by nearly all religions and state governments,I say I will represent the state of Oklahoma with all the dignity and decorum it warrants.

Thank you for your support.

A little on the Environment

So let's talk a little bit about the environment. Sure it's a touchy subject in the summer, because a bunch of Northern pussies can't stand the heat. See they think that if you pollute you will destroy the earth. Evidently if you allow garbage to build up it will unbalance the planet and send us careening into the sun. They call this global warming.

Well I don't believe it! You know what else I don't believe in? Carbon footprints! As I understand it, following a briefing from my trusted advisers at Reynolds Lumber and Hardware store, a carbon footprint is based on the carbon gases you cause just by day to day living. But see, here is the deal, it ain't gas that causes footprints, Gas causes skid marks! Hell everybody knows this. So that ought to tell you them brainiac know-it-all scientists that Yankee Liberals are always talking about don't know crap about basic life functions, which is, in essence, Science. And you add all that up and reach the conclusion SOMEBODY has no idea what they are talking about.

Therefore I live life like a Real Oklahoma American. Happily tossing garbage out the window of my Cadillac Escalade (Donated to me by my friends at Shell Oil)with the air conditioning running and texting ideas for this blog. SO there you have it. life with other bloggers involves driving itty bitty uncomfortable cars that could get you killed in an accident while trying to hold in your gases, or you can live free and Opprobrious.

Opprobrious stands with other Great Oklahomans like Tom Coburn and James Inhoff. We don't listen to horror stories from pin-headed PhDs. No way, we do our own thinking!

Why Vote Opprobrious?

I have simple beliefs that represent Oklahoma. I believe you should kill the crooks, stop abortion and have the right to bear arms.

Opprobrious understands Oklahoma values.

Urgent

Mike over on Okiedoke said there was a screw up on his blog and somehow all of the nominations you guys made for Opprobrious to be the most humorous blog in all the Universe (or Oklahoma... whatever) and you might need to re-enter them.

Time is running out. Click the link and vote for your favs. I know I did, and NO, you can not nominate yourself and it is wrong to pay others to do it for you. Mike is playing this all very close to the vest, so we don't even know if Opprobrious or Redneck Diva or The Daily Bitch have even been nominated yet. What we do know is Mike has a bad server and that means it MIGHT be possible to rig this election!

Yes my friends at Diabold Email and Blog Host Server Systems have assured me that there is no chance they will make the same mistakes they made with McCain back in November. Does this mean that YOU should not go HERE to nominated Opprobrious? HELL NO!! Remember, some crybaby whiny-pants losers tend to demand recounts and investigations and want rules and laws enforced. So it is always better to have a legitimate nomination or two tossed into the mix. It makes the political spin so much easier on down the road.

Nominations close tomorrow! Now is the time to act for change. Change is always good, and THAT'S why it always disappears when you take it out of your pockets at night. If you want Change, VOTE OPPROBRIOUS.... and vote often!

Cool Dudes Support Opprobrious For the Okie Blogger Awards

SHOCKING ACCUSATION!!

My friends, I have recently received evidence of campaign fund raising efforts by one of my opponents that is so heinous, so deplorable, it defies all that is good and wholesome about these great Okie Blogger Awards.

Now I am not one to point fingers or name names in a political contest but REDNECK DIVA seems to have no such scruples in her quest for statewide domination of the Most Humorous Okie Blog title. Just this morning, I found a grease stained gunny sack on the front porch of my trailer house, next to the dog food bowl and between the old refrigerator and old furniture I still might decide to use someday. Inside that grease stained gunny sack I found this:

I think the evidence speaks for its self. There can be no doubt that Redneck Diva is taking advantage of the weakness of the fragile male ego (male bashing if you think about it) and using this weakness to coerce a highly influential population into buying a product based on pure vanity.

Whats worse, I know for a fact the product does not work! I tried this so called, "Male Enhancement" cereal and could not distinguish any difference in grip or heft. I call upon the Redneck Party to get control of your candidate and stop preying upon the weakness of men with inferiority complexes, like myself.

This is yet again, a prime example why Okie Bloggers should vote for Opprobrious for the 2008 Okie Blogger Awards!

Opprobrious Poem

Stumble Bummed

This is crap man! Yeah, yeah I know I used a bad word. What the hell are you going to do, report me?!! Evidently it's too much trouble for you to do that on Stumble. You KNOW what I am talking about. You load Stumble on your computer and when you see websites that you like, you click the thumbs up. The when other web surfers see your recommendation on a search engine, they know it is worth their time to click.

But I just did a Google search of "Opprobrious Blog." This website was listed quite well... but there are no Stumble marks. What the hell man?!! Am I the cheap date you pick up after the frigid chick you took to the movies and filled with McAffordable meals, refused to put out? Oh sure, SURE, I'll still preform. But it is more for my benefit than for you, so... alright so I need YOU more than you need me. I can deal with it. I can accept my lot in life.

I am the double bagger you pick up with promises of cheep beer and a ride in the car with all the windows rolled down. But I refuse to stick my head out the window and enjoy the air blowing through my ears. I refuse for about 4 minutes then I can be denied no longer! My tongue flapping in the wind I slather the side of you car with my excited drool. But you only take me to the dark places where you will never be seen with me. You are embarrassed and ashamed to be with me. I KNOW IT!! I CAN TELL!!! If you really cared there would be some Stumble marks!!

Eh..... Now I am wondering if I even got nominated for an Okie Blog Award. You DID send in some nominations, didn't you? I mean there is no shortage of other entertaining Okie bloggers to choose from like my friend Kelly, or those two "also rans" in the humorous category. You know, the Queen of Negative Marketing and Marques of Dirty Tricks. Oh and don't forget my buddy over here, because you should ALWAYS support your local firemen.

Take a little time, then go over to Mike's place and vote the American way... Vote Early and vote often!

The Truth Comes Out