I Take My Leave Of This Place

OK so I have two meetings tomorrow morning, then I have to go to Norman for a three day conference. I was planning on hanging out with some family and getting some cool kid play going, but Mrs. Cris got Whooping Cough and I am considered a carrier for another week or so.

It;s just as well, I tried to do my weekend warrior thing a few days ago. We had a bad toilet in the kid's bathroom. So Jr and I went to McCoy's Lumber, got a new "Toilet to go" and set to work. We pulled the old one, stuck the new one in place and all was well with the world. Then sometime after noon the next day I started feeling pain. Yeah I somehow re-injured my back and have been in a bit of pain ever since. I did take my prescription muscle relaxers last night before bed and they worked as always... they made me feel like a zombie with a bad back the entire next day.

Wednesday some strangers will come by the house and hook us up to EC Blue Satellite Internet. We have been trying to work with wireless, but it just isn't dependable. I call and complain and they make small changes. Finally, after about a year and a half I am fed up and need more reliable service. Also I overheard a disturbing conversation I wanted to share with you before I leave. BUT I think I will have internet connection at the hotel, so I am guessing I can post while living on the road. But more importantly I heard this:

Lil Crissy: Jr? Jr? Where are you? (Open back door) Jr? Are you out here?

Jr: (Muffled sound from outside) Yes I am over here.

Lil Crissy: I was thinking we... What are you...?! Are you peeing off the back porch?!

Jr: ::::::: A sound I could not recognize:::::::::

Lil Crissy: Jr! After you come back in the house and wash your hands.. I'm going to give you a high five!

Yeah, that's the generation we think we can entrust our future with?!

Back Again

OK The back situation. Here it is, I have tried to not mention it for awhile, because who wants to read about a whiner, right? I save that unsavory spectacle for those unfortunate to work or live with me. I had an MRI taken of my lower back one week ago Thursday. I took off all day Friday, and I spent the whole long weekend, confined to my computer room chair, creating this new blog.

Now to be fair, I did not work three days non-stop out of love and devotion to you, the reader. The fact is I sissied out. I ran away from the pain like a little girl (as heard on Clearly You're Retarded) and sat in a stretching position to allow my back to rest and hopefully heal. By Sunday I was going stir crazy!

So Sunday I go to church. I move quickly to a pew with the family and once seated, all pressure is off my back and all is good. No problem in the Presbyterian mini aerobics of up-down, up-down service. Then we go outside. Let me rephrase that, my family abandons me... a near cripple... and runs to the other car and leaves in a cloud of dust.

Where was I? Well, first I was pulled aside by my doctor who happens to go to the same church. He walks up behind me (Not hard to do at my snail's pace of mobility) and claps me on the shoulder saying "You're going to be ok." After a bit I realize he is talking about the MRI. He has already see the MRI! He then tells me he will talk to me about it later. I assume he means his usual conference call from his office while he looks at the test results and can answer any questions. At one week following the MRI and four days following church, I have yet to hear from him. I keep meaning to call and get busy on other things and it never seems to happen.

In spite of that I have been able to go easy and the pain has not been as bad as it was IF I can stay off my feet. I have found the biggest problem to be well wishers. OMG there are so many people who want to stand around and tell you all of their horror stories of intense back pain... Did I mention STAND around??

Sunday I got trapped by an usher at church, blocking the only exit, who then told me for a good 20 minutes about his bone graph operation for his upper spine. He explained in excruciating detail how awful it is to be on your feet when you have a pinched nerve. All the while standing in conversation and blocking the only exit. At Wal Mart we met the sweetest lady who talked to us for over a half house (after I had walked all over Wal Mart and was already in pain) and she was so concerned as we STOOD around and talked and she told me how important it was to not be on my feet and aggravate the situation.

To be fair, up to Tuesday morning I thought I was off the Lortab and on my way to recovery. All hopes have been dashed in the past 48 hours. So I hope to talk to old Dr. John very soon, although I suspect he will say I need to stay off my feet, don't carry anything heavy, lose weight, be less stupid, and pull his finger. I know, many of you wonder why I like old Dr. John. Well, other than being funny, and I need a sense of humor around me, he is very bright and treats me as a partner in all conversations. But most important of all... I believe we are near equal in our desire for him to NEVER EVER check my prostate. It might not be a healthy reason to base that decision but my every manly instinct tells me it is right reason.