Sunday, July 11, 2010

Female Viagra

So usually I joke around in this blog but today I want to address something of a more serious nature. There are reportedly hundreds of thousands of women in this country, possibly millions world wide, who don't wanna put out. What is worse, they would like to wanna put out, but they just can't seem to get in the right frame of mind. They curl up in a shawl and settle into a matronly feeling of content while their girly parts slowly rust shut from lack of use. Remember, if you don't use a muscle it will wither away and die... that's why guys touch themselves all the time even if they "don't feel like it."

OK OK seriously here: When Mrs. Cris and I first got together my mother in law had a stroke. She spent the remainder of her life trapped in a body where she could think and feel and want but never express herself physically or verbally. She was trapped against her will and you could see the frustration she dealt with on a daily basis.

Somehow I see this "Not Puttin' Out" or "Frigidity" disease as the same kind of betrayal by the body. And while many of these women will tell you that they are fine and they do not miss sex or have an interest in sex they, fail to see the devastation wreaked by this lack of desire.

I could go into many theories of the causes of a lack of desire. It could range from anthropological to superficial attractiveness. Maybe it is the lack of reproduction ability that quells the innate dive and desire to have sex for procreation. Possibly it is the fact the human body is only designed to live about 40 years, so after 15-20 with the same person the average relationship is incapable of thriving. Perhaps it is because of today's rapidly changing world, people grow apart due to different interests, or perhaps super sized meals lead to super sized asses to the point women don't wanna see it or have it seen. The thing is there is no single answer for all cases and there may not be a single answer of any individual case. It is what it is.

When you look at the family dynamics you can't fail to see that children, who develop a view of the world by watching and modeling the behaviors of the adults, primarily parents, in their lives. When they see a disconnect in wanting the touch, the sexual energy and desire in the home it has to have a residual effect. Oddly it seems that while the frigid women don't want sex they still love the chick flicks that rely on sexual desire to drive the storyline. Yet this element is totally lacking in real life, so children grow up believing life long love and desire are merely parts of Hollywood fantasy.

You know this puts a strain on marriage and most will not survive the lack of sexual desire from one partner or the other. Back in the day when couples had to cite reasons for divorce, sexual abandonment was a legitimate cause for divorce. The tragedy is the relationships end while both parties still deeply love and care for each other. This is not even counting the life-times spent working towards common goals, and decades of shared assets. The dissolution of which most likely leads to the animosity and bitterness in divorce.

Now I mention this because I was reading an article today about how drug companies are working to develop a female version of Viagra, only the medicine would create desire rather than boners... well hopefully it would ultimately create both. And there are groups out there protesting the creation of a drug that could potentially save hundreds of thousands of families. This fear of tampering with a woman's body would have prevented the use of anti depressants, insulin, or birth control. Every day we see data that represents information that has been in front of us for centuries and never recognized. We know there are many women out there that want to function sexually but can't. It is not normal. It effects the quality of life of those women and has a residual effect on those closest to them in the family. These women do not want to lose their marriages or cause harm to children or families. They need help the same as a person with in infection needs antibiotics, a broken bone needs a cast and a teenager needs condoms and duct tape.

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