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I need you to know that your vote will be put to good use. And granted, I intend to spend my first six months of Oklahoma's Representative at the exclusive celebrity sex spa, Guantanamo Bay. Oh yeah baby! I plan to gitmo at Gitmo! See, those of us in the know, realize America could NEVER hold prisoners without habeaus corpus, a right to a speedy trial or even torture the inhabitants. Nooooo, poor "I believe everything I read on the internets" reader. Gitmo is a super secret resort off the exotic beaches of forbidden Cuba. There, noted celebrities can frolic naked and indulge in their most hedonistic fantasies while shielded from the prying eyes of American media and paparazzi. This is why all of the local politicians are enraged at the prospect of the closing of the treasured get away. And while Obama says he will close the prison camp... come on... think about it! He HAS to say that because his wife knows about Gitmo! They will simply either keep it open, yet under the radar, or move it to another exotic locale that is safe from the press... say...like Cheney's house.
So while the competition and "also rans" tend to claim I use prize winnings to force my kids to dig up a vegetable garden and indulge in demented sex acts that have been condemned by nearly all religions and state governments,I say I will represent the state of Oklahoma with all the dignity and decorum it warrants.
Thank you for your support.
1 comment:
OMGosh you totally crack me up LMAO@gitmo at GITMO!!!!
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