Only a few hours remain for Okie bloggers to vote on the most humorous blog in Oklahoma for 2008. Sure, there are many other (better) choices you could select than Opprobrious. You might think the best blog should be well written, spelled correctly or even slightly funny. See, this is the narrow thinking that has held our great state back all these decades. We could be the leader among state blogging awards if a few thousand Okie bloggers would simply vote for change (and maybe read my blog). Any change has to be better than the redneck stigma that has been placed on humorous Okie blogging these many years.
Also keep in mind the lucrative prizes and benefits that go to the ultimate winner wont simply be squandered in meaningless purchases of state made items. No, all proceeds will go to finance the exciting excavation of my back yard where our dedicated team of armature palaeontologists try to find the final missing link in the fossil record: homo disgustingus or Ball-Licking Man.
I need you to know that your vote will be put to good use. And granted, I intend to spend my first six months of Oklahoma's Representative at the exclusive celebrity sex spa, Guantanamo Bay. Oh yeah baby! I plan to gitmo at Gitmo! See, those of us in the know, realize America could NEVER hold prisoners without habeaus corpus, a right to a speedy trial or even torture the inhabitants. Nooooo, poor "I believe everything I read on the internets" reader. Gitmo is a super secret resort off the exotic beaches of forbidden Cuba. There, noted celebrities can frolic naked and indulge in their most hedonistic fantasies while shielded from the prying eyes of American media and paparazzi. This is why all of the local politicians are enraged at the prospect of the closing of the treasured get away. And while Obama says he will close the prison camp... come on... think about it! He HAS to say that because his wife knows about Gitmo! They will simply either keep it open, yet under the radar, or move it to another exotic locale that is safe from the press... say...like Cheney's house.
So while the competition and "also rans" tend to claim I use prize winnings to force my kids to dig up a vegetable garden and indulge in demented sex acts that have been condemned by nearly all religions and state governments,I say I will represent the state of Oklahoma with all the dignity and decorum it warrants.
Thank you for your support.
8 months ago