Sunday, July 20, 2008

Sunday Worship

So Mrs. Y2K is off to Sunday School with Y2Kette, and Jr and I will join them for church in an hour. Today's Sunday School lesson is on simplicity, don't possess more than you need, don't speak more than needs to be said, don't waste time blogging, etc. So I read the article/lesson and she asks me what I think of it.

"Well, for somebody preaching the need for simplicity, four pages seemed a bit long."

OK if the old heifer is going to call for ME materialistic, I am striking back. Sheesh, old Scotsmen and Depression era old-fuckers have been calling me and asking for lesson on how to be a cheap bastard. Naturally they want the lessons for free. Fuckers.

I am the near pinnacle of simplicity. I live in a house that was distressed and I did the rebuild myself. I drive old cars and save the extra cash that would go into payments and full coverage insurance. In fact, I would have tried to make Y2Kette's braces myself, having mastered the art of bailing wire manipulation, but Mrs. Y2K interceded because she has not embraced my level of simplicity. You know, I think I have only bought one new lawn mower in my life, and it was as crappy as buying any of the old worn out mowers. In fact, if you think about it, at least you know old mowers have been able to do the job. New mowers are like rookies in the NFL, right out of college. Sometimes you might get a Ben Rothlesburger and sometimes you might get a loser like Eli Manning.

Oh wait, the Giants called Eli a loser at the beginning of the season last fall and wanted him dumped from the team. Then he goes on and wins the Super Bowl in classic Rocky Balboa fashion. See, this is why I don't gamble. I would freakin lose money, and dude that would freak me out because I am simple. Like the lesson says. So, if you think about it, since I don't gamble and am a real cheap bastard I am practically divinely perfect in my spirituality. And therefore I don't NEED to go to Sunday School when I can stay home and blog. Hmmm since the lesson is on cutting back, I wonder if it is ok to skimp on tossing a buck in the kitty when they pass the hat around? Holy Crap! I am getting more pious every second!

I wonder if Simplicity extends to skipping church all together so I can watch the pre game show for football?

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