The list. No, I mean THE list. A year or so ago a woman came to my office with her list of people she had slept with. It was a result of a conversation we had while traveling to another state. At that time she had revealed she had been with around 50 guys. She went on and on about how she was horrible, but not really because she had only been with an average of two guys a year since her divorce 25 years ago. "That's not really all that bad is it?"
This then turned into a competition of sorts as others compared their list. Another girl in the group was much younger, and had a total score of around 30. There were several naming a single partner and most in the single digits. I was a little uncomfortable in the discussion because I am very competitive and yet was defeated before I even got out of the starting gates... not that that's a problem for me! Honest!
Then a few days later, the woman who started the discussion showed up at my office with a list of about 15 names and about 35 blanks, or names she could'nt remember since they were mostly one night hook ups. Followed by demanding that I never, ever tell anybody about the names on the list. So, why make one and show it to me?
Then she went around town and told everybody she had made a list and I had it with all of the names on it... which wasn't true. If she had told me to never share it or keep it, I didn't need another piece of paper floating around, so I threw it away. I really didn't see the need in keeping it.
All the time I am asked if I think she is awful. How am I supposed to answer that? Why would I think she was awful based on how many people she chose to randomly sex up? Did I feel less of her for having so many she could not remember names (only coloring and size :::shudder:::)?
In time the talk about THE list turned to other, less stressful topics. But now that there is time to look back and reflect, is it normal to keep a mental list? Is it unusual to forget names, even after a quarter of a century or longer? I have to admit after 30 years I am not so sure who would be on my list. Maybe I should go to Classmates.com and start calling the hot chicks from high school and ask them if we actually had sex or if I just thought about it a lot. A whole lot.
3 months ago