1 month ago
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Garrr deep in the calm still waters of Oklahoma thar be a mighty sailboat called the Opprobrious. (spelled correctly) It stands 22 foot long and is as sound as the day it popped out of the fiberglass mold. The ship became legend along Banyan Road where neighbors would drive by daily and exclaim, "When's that freakin redneck going to get that boat out of his front yard and into the water?"
Rumors began to spread that Cap'n Opprobrious might be Hydrophobic, not with rabies, as is most common in these here waters, but the fear of drowning. The locals would stop and taunt him, "Daddy's afraid of the water! Daddy's afraid of the water!"
And the gruff old salt would cuss and ground and stump around on his two good legs while complaining of a ruptured disc and the pain of a bad back. All to no avail. The taunts continued, the neighbors continued to cast names and the boat never moved. Not by trailer, and not by water.
Then on December 9, 2008 everything changed. The Mighty Opprobrious finally got wet! Then when finally awash in water and set loose in the very environment it had been yearning it's mighty but broken little boat-heart to conquer... the tiny ship struck aground. It was quickly swamped in water and it sank to the bottom.
And THAT'S exactly how I found it when I got home tonight. A rain squall had blown in a winter storm. The rain fell so quickly the little drain could not empty the cockpit fast enough and finally the weight on the trailer shifted and the boat tipped backwards on the trailer, driving the little boat motor propeller into the soft, wet turf.
Tonight I had to bail out the cockpit of a sailboat that hasn't seen water in over a year. It was swamped by rain. When it was bailed enough to tip back right, I found the drain was plugged by ice, which needed to be broken. And now I wonder, how freakin lousy of a sailor am I that I wreck my boat in my front yard when the only water around is rain?!