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Just around the corner is the beginning of Mardi Gras with Ash Wednesday. If you are not familiar with this event, please allow me to explain. See, Ash Wednesday is a Catholic Holiday where Moses stepped forth and parted the Red River and allowed the Sooners to escape from Hell following yet another win against Texas.
Each year real Americans and even a few Texans celebrate this event by flocking to various parties across the country, consuming way too much alcohol and bestowing cheaply made beaded necklaces upon the pure souls who are willing to show their wholesome beliefs by pulling up their shirts and exhibiting the gifts God gave them.
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