The Week

OK So there I was in OKC, all ready for the beginning of the Youth Summit. Our contracts Manager was in DC with one of our programs and ran into the state office director, who is our main funder. The state chick asks our grants manager if there is anybody to serve as a Subject Matter Expert at this state conference, and big person that she is, the Grants Manager volunteered me. It's not a bog deal, we are trying to establish ourselves as an agency that is willing to work with funders and not against them.

So there I am in OKC. It's a Kid's Summit right? SO I dress as professionally and authoritatively as possible so I can keep control of the little fuckers at the conference. Yes, I wear a full suit and tie. So I get there about an hour early because I am a dumbass and always get times mixed up and keep turning the clock up and up in my head. And I sit and wait for the building to fill up and I see this chick I know, then this dude I work with, then another person I know and another and then I notice something missing. Where the hell are the kids?

Want to guess what was NOT present at a Kid's Summit in OKC this year? Oh yeah! So I spent the next two days all dressed up like the usher at a wedding while in a room full of nerds wearing jeans and shorts because at a conference (which this turned out to be) clothing is WAY casual!

But the worst, most embarrassing thing to happen this week was on my way to OKC. A stomach flu or virus or death wishing superbugs have hit the area. Our Grant's Manager called in sick and asked of I would sit in for her for a TA call in Stillwater. I go over there and things are going fine. There is a lot of good discussion about stuff I really don't understand when one of the new co-workers comes back from lunch.

I notice she has some kind of toner smudge on her forehead. So, polite and thoughtful guy that I am, I try to discreetly point to my forehead. This didn't work, so I added a discreet point and sweep motion. Nuttin. Damn we hired some slow people! So I add to my pantomime by pointing, sweeping then morphing into a slow drawn out forehead wipe. Finally I get a dawn of recognition that maybe I am trying to communicate. I am about to discreetly point, sweep motion with a slow wipe then add a palm lick and pseudo scrub when the new chick says...

"uh... it's Ash Wednesday."