Sunday, February 22, 2009

Oscar Sunday

So here it is on a Sunday night in February Sweeps month, and not a damn thing is on TV, other than what looks like a really gay Wolverine singing and dancing... and that just seems WRONG dude! So I can't follow through with my traditional Sunday night gig of sitting on my ever expanding ass and watching brain melting stupid shows I can't recall the next day. Thank God I spend nearly a hundred dollars a month on TV service.

Thus a young man's mind turns to the things he loves, and my mind turned to you, the reader. OK not really. It turned to them, the non-readers. And then I wonder why they don't visit Opprobrious and how can I build readership. Then it hit me. I am too small time. People love big time events and big time blogs.

Thus I am proud to announce that I now have a parent company to handle all of my sponsors, like King Nut Peanut Butter, who "likes to Kick America's Nuts up another notch" or former respectable individual OJ Simpson. I am proud to announce the big time partnership of Opprobrious and ...

I know, I know. You are thinking to yourself, "But this means Cris has sold out and now he will be all focused on the big corporate money and will lose interest in me, the faithful reader." And of course you are right. Like the mean kid in middle school I am willing to cut you all lose so I can hang with the popular kids. And in the Blogoverse that means the kids with money!

So please take comfort in knowing I will miss you and think about you often and will often look back at my pre-corporate sell-out days as the happiest times of my life as I quickly become a bitter, hate filled rich old man. Yesssss take comfort in that.

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