Three Things

First
Blogger says there is a scheduled outage for 3/25 at 4:00. Now I don't know if that is AM or PM or both because I don't know how long this freakin outage is going to last. It could be a few minutes, it could extend to the end of time. Chances are it will last somewhere between the two time references I mentioned, but it pays to be safe. That means you need to stock up on Opprobrious NOW!! Copy and paste your favorite blog posts so you can re-read them in the near future when Blogger will no longer be providing exemplary services to people too fucking cheap to pay for a real site.

Yes friends, just like when you get real lucky and know a scumbag artist is going to die BEFORE he kicks the bucket, you now have the chance to capitalize off of the probable demise of all things Opprobrious, at the scheduled outage of Blogger in less than six hours from now... or maybe 18.. whatever. The thing is NOW is the time! Order your T-Shirts, Buy the motivational Tapes, stock up on Tagamilf because the end is near... maybe.

Second
WTF is the deal with Will Smith?! AOL which is owned by Time-Warner, the world's greatest news source, ran a big story on how Will and Jada Pinkett dispelled rumors that Will was gay. OK, the guy has been married for years, has kids, and as far as I know NEVER had any rumors about him being gay. So how in the hell can a PR dude get that kind of press over dispelling a non-rumor. Is Will's career in the crapper following Hancock and I am Legend? I mean, yeah the movies SHOULD have been better but that wasn't his fault. The writing wasn't as good as it should have been and the directing was a bit weak. But Will Smith did an excel... Oh crap... does this mean I'm gay for Will Smith??

Third and final
Chalk it up as Psycho Dad. We have been having fun with our new phones that we got last week. So last night I went in the back part of the house and when I came back I had this evil impulse to freak out my 17 year old daughter. I snuck into the dining room, right behind the recliner she was sitting in while reading a book (the final Sookie Stackhouse Book in the series... yeah she's hooked) So in true horror movie style I whip out my Blackberry and text to my daughter, "I am standing right behind you!"

Then I waited on the other side of the wall, next to the door that was beside her chair. I was like a little kid, nearly overcome with giggles as I waited on her to timidly peer around the edge of her chair. ...and I waited... and I waited... and I started thinking, how freakin long does it take to receive a text message, when MY phone started vibrating.

I quickly opened it up and read, "I'm in bed, dumbass."

Grrrrr I had been stalking an empty recliner!