Monday, October 20, 2008

Spiritual Thinking

We made a difficult decision in my family this past year. It is a decision that was so difficult we actually talked about it for years before making the change. What did we do that was so traumatic..? We switched churches.

I had such a problem with our church that said homosexuality was a sin, and Republicans were always right. It was full of judgment and if you were not a Stepford drone you were bound for hell and there was no room for argument. And my response was the step back and disengage. Then I saw how this was effecting my children and I knew I needed to take a different approach.

So we switched to a church that had members that seemed to do the things we did, act the way we acted, and seemed to hold the same core beliefs we held. The difference while subtle was immense! Church is actually a joy to attend.

Now I mention all of this to make a simple point. Lately I have been involved in things that weigh heavy on me personally. In the past I would look at it as stress. Currently I don't know if it is stress but it leads to a lot of looking inwards and questioning myself or my past actions. And here is the big difference my new church says... the message I walk away with each week, and what I tell others I NEED to hear.

At the beginning of each sermon the Preacher hold out her hands and assures us that we are loved and we are forgiven. And more and more I need to hear that message. I am struggling in my own personal growth to understand the awesomeness of Grace. Up until recently I thought that was what you said before eating. Only now, at the tender age of 46 am I beginning to realize how much I don't know.

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