Wednesday, November 12, 2008


So Dad is recovering and he knows I had a bad experience with a rip off group in Oklahoma City called David Stanley Ford. So Dad, an old used car salesman, says he will call some of his contacts and have them pick up a car for me at $200 over wholesale. How much do I want to spend?

Well NOW we get to the crux of the problem. See, I was raised by my father. So therefore I don't WANT to spend a damn thing! In fact, life would be best if automakers paid ME to drive their cars... after all... I AM the one doing all the work in the relationship. It's not like they wont keep making cars whether I buy one or not, yet they KNOW I have to drive. In fact my job requires I have a dependable car. But life, once again, just ain't fair.

ME: "Oh I don't know Dad... I guess if I got a good 5 year old Stratus or Malibu with about 80,000 miles, I could drive it several years. So I guess about $5 or 6,000."

DAD: "How about a Buick Century or La Sabre? Damn good cars, not as good as my Towncar but you don't want to buy a Lincoln. You want me to look for a Le Sabre too?"

ME: "OK Dad, whatever you think is best. But I like $5000 better than I like $6000"

Several weeks go by. He has been sick. We have been concerned and cars are not all that important, my old 1999 Cavalier Program Car is still reliable with 185,000 miles. Then Dad calls this morning.

DAD: "Hey how about if you bought a Program car? Those used cars are getting higher than hell and these car dealerships need to move some stock. What would a Program Malibu cost?"

I grab a newspaper and open to the car section. "Malibu? I thought you said a Le Sabre was better?"

DAD: "Oh hell no! Damn things have window motors that burn out all the time. Must be made in Mexico or China or someplace. You can't find a good made car anymore unless you move on up to something like a Town car, but you don't want a Lincoln."

ME: "OK here it is... 2007 Malibu is $12000. Wait here is one for $8000, no here is one for $15000. This is just a newspaper, not a blue book. But dealerships will list any price and not live up to it. It looks like we would be in at around the $10,000 range."

DAD: "Yeah that's what I thought. It would be the better move. You want to get a program car?"

ME: "......uh........ but that's twice what I wanted to spend."

DAD: "What... you need to borrow the money? I can float you a loan til the CDs turn over."

ME: "But..... I only wanted to spend about $5000."

DAD: "I know it, but this is a better deal and it'll only be about $10,000"

ME: "Which is TWICE as much! You know... I have a problem spending money."

DAD: "I know. I know. But look at it this way. Say you get 0.40 per mile for driving your car. By the time you drove it from 40,000 miles to 80,000 miles you would have more than paid for the new car AND you would still have a good car to drive."

ME: "OK if you think it is the better deal, then go ahead. I know you are not feeling well and I ....

DAD: "Good, we just bought you one and it will be delivered on Friday. Is Silver a good color for you?"


Mary said...

I knew I had another brother out there somewhere!

Cris said...

I knew Dad had to have somebody else he was helping on the days he doesn't call. He sounds WAY too practiced! Can't wait til the family Holidays!