So today I assessed Team Survivor after a grueling week of balls out Archeologicaling. We used hard scientific reasoning to determine where and how we would dig. We identified the missing link in the fossil record and only a few short days ago we embarked on an adventure that would make Indiana Jones look like a pussy in comparison.
We anticipated Catholic SWAT Team Monks repelling out of hovering attack helicopters in a religious zeal to cover the truth of evolution. We suspected G. Dubya and his Praise Cabinet might issue martial law, we even thought George Carlin's family might issue a cease and desist order since we were working off of one of his ideas. But all that happened was Team Survivor dug and dug and dug some more. It was brutal in the Oklahoma weather where a freak climatic change made tempretures soar to the low 80s most all day with rare amounts of direct sunlight. Conditions couldn't have been worse. Yet I was able to forge ahead from a comfortable lawn chair as Team Survivor shoveled deeper and deeper.
We had a loss along the way. Y2Kette found out her concurrent college courses started on Monday, so her part of the big dig was ended. That means all the thinking was left to me and all the hard labor was left to Jr.
Funny thing about us boys. When Y2Kette isn't around, we tend to play video games and watch TV and forget about work projects.
We do not see the end of this last day of the dig as a failure. In fact, I think, if nothing else, we have narrowed down the possibilities of where Homo Disgustingus (Ball Licking Man) will NOT be found. I propose a better financed, more prepared expedition with bigger, older workers... like Team Survivor is now... only a year older! It is our Moby Dick obsession to find the Missing Link and prove there was a stage in man's evolution where it was literally possible to go fuck yourself. If found, I am sure we will also discover the line died out very quickly, only to be replaced by Ball Licking man's brighter less sexually driven cousin.. Dude Who Stays Up All Night Watching the Fire and Drinking With His Buddies Man. Yes I am sure Science will show we are way more closely related to the next step in the fossil record, yet we all know that deep in our root reptilian brain, we still retain our base Ball Licking Man urges.
Oh yeah, and I celebrated the last day of the dig by cooking diner!
1 month ago