Thursday, January 29, 2009

Mrs. Cris

So Mrs. Cris has been around for more than a half a century and today is her birthday. She has accomplished a lot in her life, Bachelor's degree, marriage, children, a master's degree, a full career switch and she now works with me all day for the college, then teaches classes at night for another college plus helps run a small property investment business she inherited from her parents. Not to mention the full time job of taking care of me.

Mrs. Cris's real name is Lydia. There I outed her. She will just have to deal with being regarded as a celebrity by my (almost) tens of fans. The thing is, we have been together for many many years now and we are never thought of individually but as a couple. It is always Cris and Lydia this or Cris and Lydia that. Except when she and I are together, then all attention turns to her. And when I say all attention, I mean all the empathy, concern and sorrowful support as people look at me and say "poor Lydia." The Fuckers!

So Lyd (that's my nick name for her) So Lyd started coming down with a cold this week and today has been moaning such words of enlightenment as: "I want to die" and "I can't believe I got sick on my birthday!" In fact she has said it so often it occurred to me while across state at the main campus today... "Oh yeah... it's her birthday! I should get her something!"

In times of crisis Wal-Mart has always been there for me. My lovely bride was sick and aging and I needed to find a present that represented my enduring love and price was no object as long as it was under $15. And needless to say... Wal-Mart failed. I walked round and round that brand new Superstore and never saw one item that said, "Lydia has to have this!" I mean I looked at all the new tools, the new electronics, the action movies and video games and nothing screamed her name!

Sure I saw some things I could have gotten her that I would have liked... heh heh... but the question is, what would my wife Lydia want? And then I had the answer. So tonight, wrapped in thoughtful Wal-Mart sacks, I gave my sniffling bride a sick basket. Boxes of Thereflu, throat losengers, cough drops, blueberries, 7-up, crackers and zinc. I got her a paperback copy of the Twilight Book to read while recuperating plus a promise to take the family out for a nice dinner once she is able to taste food again.

Surprisingly... I am not sleeping in the car tonight.

3 comments:

♥georgie♥ said...

Happy Birthday Mrs cris errrr Lydia!!!!

Cris said...

Thank you. My Daughter looked up Blue Berries on the internet when I made the lofty claim "they are good for you." She ratteled off the small laundry list of health benefits a person gains by eating the berries blue and then stopped and said ..

"OH NO! He did not! Mom it says they are well known for their anti aging powers! He's trying to keep you from having another birthday!"

It's funny how a 16 year old kid can think that is a bad thing, while her 51 year old mother may have seen me as sexy for the first time in a decade.

::: sniffle ::::

♥georgie♥ said...

we ♥ frozen blue berries
LOL@your daughters comment....tooo funny!