Sunday, September 7, 2008

Invest In Tomorrow's Va-Jay-Jay Today

Ha! Bet you thought by the title I was going to be all smart ass and talk about how you need to buy a reasonably priced, high quality, IMPORTED, T-shirt, didn't you? Well, I probably will before this post is over, but that is not the real purpose.

Nope. I wanna talk about Gardasil. If you don't know what Gardasil is you either have your head stuck in the sand or you don't have a daughter between the ages of 10 and 18. See Gardasil is the name for the human papillomavirus vaccine.

There! That alone should be all you need to know. Now go out and SAVE THE VA-JAY-JAYS!!

What... ? You still don't know what the hell I am talking about? Well then let old Uncle Cris tell you a few facts he copied and pasted off Wikipedia. Human papillomavirus (HPV) infection causes nearly all cases of cervical cancer. Cervical cancer is the second leading cause of death from cancer in women world-wide, and the leading cause of cancer-related deaths among women in the majority of developing countries.

The National Cancer Institute writes, "Widespread vaccination has the potential to reduce cervical cancer deaths around the world by as much as two-thirds, if all women were to take the vaccine and if protection turns out to be long-term. In addition, the vaccines can reduce the need for medical care, biopsies, and invasive procedures associated with the follow-up from abnormal Pap tests, thus helping to reduce health care costs and anxieties related to abnormal Pap tests and follow-up procedures

OK Copy and Paste time is over. Here is what I know. If you have a little girl over the age of 10 and you haven't haven't considered starting her on Gardasil, you need you ass kicked and your kids taken away for neglect. Yeah! It's THAT serious! Right now public health people are estimating that about 50% of all women have this nasty little bug. And wanna guess what..? 50% of all dudes have it now too. So, sending a kid out into the world with the car and the clothes and the cell phone and all the things she needs to be all that and a bag of chips don't mean a freakin thing if she gets killed by her own Va-Jay-jay. End of lecture.

I will say we took our daughter to have her series of shots. I went from town to town as the health department people talked about the shots and local ministers said the shots were evil because they promote promiscuity. Uh.. I am a VERY protective father. I REALLY DO threaten all boys that date my daughter. I am a monster and I push a strong Abstinence agenda in my house. But I am not stupid! I know at some point, WAY IN THE FREAKIN FUTURE she will have sex. And since I am not stupid I also know that 50-50 odds will never be a safe bet. So my little daughter has the braces and the car and the education and the cell phone and the gardasil shot.

Because really... what Daddy can deny his baby girl the things she needs?

Oh yeah, when your little darling completes her third Gardasil shot, you should celebrate the event by giving her a "Ball Licking Man" T-Shirt.


Lisa said...

Good for you. We recently got our DD immunized at the age of 20. Fortunately she was still eligible (under 26 and not sexually active).

One of the nurses at the doctors office said that they will soon (this was a year ago.. wonder what their definition of soon is) have it also approved for men.

And Scotland is providing it for all their females of appropriate age, free of charge.

Alba go Bragh!

Cris said...

Yes I heard parents need to start thinking about shooting the boys. Although I am not sure they are at great a risk for cervicle or uterine cancer.

Jessica Alba go Bra-less!!!