Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Avitable's Meme

I've been super busy at work and covering meetings at night. Yup, chasing the big bucks. Anyhooo, I've had no thoughts about a post so I would like to take this opportunity to be a lazy ass blogger and copy Avitable's Meme.

Don't forget, there is still time to show your love of all things Uterine by buying a Save the Va-Jay-Jay's T-shirt before the end of Uterine Cancer Awareness Month. If wearing your heart (or your hoo-hoo) on your sleeve just ain't your style... NO PROBLEM!! We also have a shirt you can buy to show your love of evolution and a burning desire to find the true missing link. Get your Ball-licking man T-shirt today. Sarah Palin ordered one for her whole family! Don't let Sarah be a better mom than you, buy a Ball-Licking Man T-shirt today!
And now the Meme. Adam created his own meme. Link back here if you decide to do it yourself:

My favorite age: 32

My best friend: You know, I realized last night it was Pam

My celebrity crush: Jessica Alba, .

My defining characteristic: A belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly.

My most evil moment: Dating a girl in high school just to be mean to her best friend.

My favorite food: yes. Food is my favorite. Hence the belly. Thanks for asking, asshole.

My grossest injury: a recurring Pylondital cyst

My biggest hatred: people that don't do their jobs

My most illegal activity: I am such a wimp. Probably not wearing a seat belt. Maybe sharing ring tones?

My need for justice: I paid a guy to build a barn about 5 years ago. It still isn't built and he's probably up for parole any day now. Oh yeah, no freakin restitution or apology and he did the same thing to people all over the state... right after he got out of prison for doing the same thing a few years before that!

My most knowledgeable field: ok not kidding here... I really don't know! Education maybe?

My life's goal: Financial security

My mother's influence: Too many to mention.

My nerdiest point: High School debate team. But we were a bad ass debate team

My oldest memory: I have vague memories of my great grandmother's house in Stillwell. I would have been about 3 when she died..

My perfect date: she puts out

My unanswered question: Who in the hell can really get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop in three freakin licks? I mean, really!

My random fact: I am named for an uncle that has a different name.

My stupidest decision: Once in middle school I stuck a match tip on the end of my middle finger and struck it along a cinder block wall. I burned the CRAP out of my hand and filled the classroom with the smell of sulfur and seared flesh. Oh yeah and once I took my best buddy's advice on how to prepare for a date. Take a real hot shower then apply cologne to your nuts so they don't smell like your butt. I nearly had to call 9-1-1 over that one.

My favorite television show: I like many: Chuck, Eureka, House

My style of underwear: briefs

My favorite vegetable: squash with Cavendar's Greek seasoning. mmmmmmm.

My weakest trait: impatience.

My X-men power: Slotherine! I can park my expanding ass in front of boxes like TV's or Computer Monitors for hours and hours without hardly moving.

My strongest yearning: To be loved by millions of hot chicks, maybe two or three at a time.

My moment of Zen: Seeing my children succeed. There is no greater feel of total satisfaction.


Avitable said...

You do realize that your T-shirts can't be clicked on at all, right? You need to make them links.

Your last few answers were surprisingly sincere!

Cris said...

Thank you! I have been waiting on somebody to actually click on the fake tags to the world's worst T-shirts! WooHoo!

I have this happy glow like I just walked out of an Oriental "Happy Endings" massage parlor with a smile on my face and hepatitis in my blood stream. Come on man... fess up... which one did you want to order?? Hmmm??? I really did expect somebody to tell me I need to show real T-shirts and not just crude paint shop drawings.

OK maybe nobody else finds this funny but I will be giggling all day. You ROCK dude!

Avitable said...

I've noticed that since you've been talking about them! I was going to click to see how much you were charging for them.


Cris said...