Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Only One Week Left

That's right, seven short days (maybe less) til the end of September. It is "do or die" time now, my friends. It's time to cinch your belt up another notch, square your shoulders and dig down deep. You need to get mean. You need to get nasty. You need to be an unstoppable beast as you ask yourself, "Did I help a Va-Jay-Jay today?"

Yes in a week or maybe less all the opportunities to help one of man kind's greatest treasures will have passed. The time when wild and untamed va-jay-jays ran in packs all over this great land is nearly gone. Only in a few remote locations, where mankind is prevented from interfering, has the purity and innocence of the free range va-jay-jay been allowed to blossom.

Now I don't pretend to be an expert on this Prevent Uterine Cancer Awareness Month. In fact, I can't say for sure if I even know where a woman keeps her uterine, but I would guess in her purse, and it probably settled to the bottom, like a cell phone. There in the murky depths it most likely bonded with some over heated and stale chewing gum and a pre-moistened towelette. This un-holly union created a nasty stanky film that we call Uterine Cancer.

On a side note: If you can tell where the chewing gum is interlocked into the monster, you have most likely found the mythical G-Spot. But don't beat yourself up if you never find it. Most men never do, and that's why we are pretty sure it is a myth.

As heartless Corporate money changers take over society they seem to have a single agenda. The complete and total eradication of all things vagina. Yes, we have all heard of the horrors of clear cut efforts. Stripping the natural beauty away and leaving a barren uncovered and smooth landscape. Even worse is the threat of deep rig drilling as has just been granted under the Bush Administration.

Today's va-jay-jay faces many threats, yet it is still out there and as elusive as ever... to some people... like me. Options on saving the future of the va-jay-jay seem limited and pointless. In time, all the va-jay-jays will be taken and none will be left to run free in their natural glory as God intended.

But you can still make a difference for today. You can make a stand and cry out against the assault and maybe for a few weeks, or days or even minutes, you can help stop the terrible pounding these poor quivering pudy-tats takes. Yes, you can click on the link on the side bar a buy a "Save the Va-Jay-Jays" T-Shirt.

It's almost like having a green vagina.

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