Courage

Hello. My name is Cris and I am a sissy. ( HI CRIS!!) I guess I have always been a sissy. I don't remember there ever being a time I wasn't a sissy, but I do know it became very apparent when I first went to the dentist.

Now to be fair, I grew up poor in Oklahoma. Kids around here were only sent to a dentist when teeth were rotting out of their heads and the teeth were pulled because, really, who keeps their teeth when they are adults anyway, right? So kids were sent to this one guy in town who was brutal. I mean a butcher. Once, when I was in high school I flinched and he jerked back with the drill running. It ripped the inside of my mouth open from my jaw all the way to my upper lip. My whole face was bruised and swollen to the point I looked like my head had been rammed through a windshield. When it happened, the Dentist barked at me, "Look what you made me do!" Years later, my father admitted the same Dentist had done that to him too.

So I went into my adult life with more than a healthy fear of dentists... I would break out in sweats and try to make deals with fate. This continued for a long time until I forced myself to grow up, find a good dentist and endure the process. I can say that now, I am much better. I have very good dental health and I made sure my kids have the best dental care available with the best most pain-free dentists I can find. It costs more, but it is a solid investment.

The thing is, when my kids were little I was still not the guy to take them for check ups. I was not the guy to take them to see me get a cleaning. I am still... a tad it nervous. Even a simple 6 month check up has me obsessing the night before the appointment. I still look for ANY excuse to back out. It still takes all my nerve and resolve to get there each time.

How freakin pathetic is that? Little kids go with no qualm, yet I break into a cold sweat at just the thought. As soon as I hit the door I am asking for the laughing gas, often to be told "We are just taking X-Rays, Cris." But the folks I go to are understanding and patient ...even if I did think I heard them laughing when I left the building.

Today I had my six months check up. I think maybe I broke the one scheduled before this... so it might have been my first time there in a year. Maybe. Anyway, no cavities but I had to have a deep cleaning (GIMME THE GAS!!!) and told to come back in three months. So that means, if I am real brave and can survive a check up WITH a full cleaning... I have to do it all over again sooner rather than later.

Courage is shown in many ways. Some guys walk through life and never feel fear. Others suspect there might be a wet stain on their pants when they hear a high speed drill. Like I said, My name is Cris and I am a sissy.